Monday, November 21, 2005

Las Vegas Bloggers Prison Pact

I won't be talking about the 60 Minutes piece on internet gambling. My stance is pretty clear. We should legalize online gambling, marijuana, and prostitution... then tax the hell out of fit.

Moving on...

The bloggers in Vegas trip is coming pretty soon. Heck, I'll be in Las Vegas in less than 10 days! I think it's time to start talking about the upcoming trip. Here's the deal. So far we've been a well behaved bunch of bloggers in Las Vegas. Two trips resulted in zero arrests. A few of us have passed out but no one has gotten tossed into county lock up... yet.

I propose that we honor the first blogger who gets arrested by bailing him/her out of jail. It's the prize for winning the prop bet: First Blogger Arrested in Vegas. Before you decide, you might want to take a peek at possible situations that could happen.

Potential Blogger Arrests:
  • Iggy (public intoxication and you have to be really fucked up to get thrown in the drunktank in Vegas)
  • Daddy (Beastiality, sodomy, necrophelia & sexual misconduct with a donkey)
  • Bobby Bracelet (indecent exposure)
  • AlCantHang (illegal gaming activities on a casino property without a permit)
  • Gracie (detained indefinitely by Homeland Security)
  • Bad Blood (assault and intent to maim with furniture)
  • April Texas and Heather (breaking & entering into Phil Gordon's house)
  • Maudie (grand theft auto)
  • CJ ("lookout" for a crack dealer at the Redneck Riviera)
  • JoeSpeaker (prostitution - selling himself)
  • Pauly (prostitution - trying to pick up hookers at MGM)
  • Poker Nerd (shoplifting batteries)
  • HDouble (possession of an illegal firearm)
  • Travis (draft dodging from the Canadian Air Force)
  • Otis ("Peeping Tom")
  • Boy Genius (removing a wine steward's left eye with a corkscrew after he accidentialy brought BG the house Merlot)
  • G-Rob & Shelly (robbing a liquor store)
  • Drizz (disorderly conduct: starting a food fight at the Bellagio buffet)
  • Grubby (fraud: sliding a pinky finger into his Wedny's chili)
  • Alan (stalking Celine Dion)
  • California April (intent to distribute narcotics: setting up a meth lab in her hotel room)
  • Felicia (marijuana possession)
  • Derek & the Poker Geek (illegally importing spider monkeys from Brazil)
  • Joanne (wanted by Mounties for "moose-icide" after running over sixteen moose with her car in the last 18 months)
  • -EV (imitating Phil Hellmuth at Cheetah)
  • Wil (public urination for pissing in the pool at the Bellagio, the Mirage, the Hilton (twice), the Flamigo, the Venetian...)
  • Jaxia (excessive groping of dancers at Olympic Garden)
  • Spaceman & Joaquin (running an 3 card Monte game on Las Vegas Blvd.)
  • Big Mike (executing a bartender on the spot for running out of SoCo)
  • Bill (tresspassing after trying to scuba dive in the Bellagio fountain)
  • on_THG (pickpocketing toursists during the Fremont Light show)
  • Dr. Jeff, Chilly, Marty & Brian (selling Oxycontin and Viagra to Catholic high school kids)
  • Human Head & Chad (busted as couriers for a Shanghai/Las Vegas illegal organ snatching scheme)
  • Poker Prof (hacking into Party Poker)

Sorry if I didn't get to mention everyone. I ran out of time.

So if we all take note of each other's vices and weaknesses and help everyone stay clear of trouble, we should have another arrest free weekend in Vegas. Best of luck to everyone. And here's the best part... the winner gets their mugshot posted on everyone's friggin' blog. So who's gonna get busted by the pigs first?

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